Overcoming Self-Obstacles

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How To Stop Holding Grudges And Start Forgiving People

Figuring out how to pardon someone who really wronged you is not an easy thing. Most time we imagine that we are over it and have forgiven them but in most cases we usually hold a grudge against them. However holding resentment only hurts you the more. You only end up stressing yourself over it which cannot only cause psychological problems but also more serious health problems. It is therefore essential to learn the act of forgiveness and to avoid grudges.

Acknowledge the cause of the grudge.
To start with, try to find out the root cause of your grudge. You can only try to find a solution after you are aware of the problem. At times you may come to realize that you were just over reacting and holding a grudge over such a petty thing. Once you have seen the main problem you can then settle on a decision to push ahead from that point.

Consider the positive side.
Everything in life has its positive and negative side. Instead of getting angry other the whole issue, try and take it as an invaluable lesson to you. Take in an important lesson or leave with a superior understanding that can assist you to let go of the issue and not despise the one who wronged you.
Put yourself into their shoes.
At times we may be quick at judging people when they do something bad to us but try fitting yourself into their shoes and you may get a better understanding of why they had to do what they did. This doesn’t legitimize their actions; however it will assist you to comprehend it. The better you understand their intentions, the easier you will find it to forgive them.

Share your thoughts with the other party..
A grudge could be as a result of just a small misunderstanding or by confronting the issue the wrong way. Without being biased clarify your feelings on the issue. At that point, choose if this is something you will chip away at in your own heart or by reaching the other individual to come up with a solution. Wait until you have calmed down and then confront the other party in a calm and non-judgmental way. You may choose to solve it among yourselves or try involving a third party. But regardless of the approach, this will help you to get rid of the tension built up in you allowing you to feel more relaxed.

Finally forgive them.
Obviously forgiveness does not imply that you will forget the whole incidence. It only means that you have accepted your disparities and acknowledged that we are all human who are prone to error. Forgiveness isn’t easy but it is worth it. It allows you to get rid of that burden off your heart therefore giving you peace.

How To Find Your Calling In Life

Many people go around perplexed about their calling in life. Some might wonder what their calling in life has to do with anything. There is a good reason for people to think about their life calling. The reason is that most people need to feel a higher cause for their lives and existence. Most people have a spiritual side. They need to feel that they aren’t born to just live through a series of experiences, just to die.

They need to feel that there are reasons why they experience the things that they do. They need to feel that they, or we can use the various experiences that we go through in life for a higher calling or good.

So, with all of this said, just how does one go about finding their calling in life? There are many ways to go about this task. For one thing, a person can set aside some time for contemplation and meditation. As a matter of fact, deep contemplation and meditation is necessary for this accomplishment. So find a nice quiet place that allows you to open up your mind. Think about the things that you have experienced so far in your life. Joyful or painful, those experiences have taught you something about people, and about yourself. Think about how you handled those situations. Did you learn how to handle the situation in a healthy way? Did you handle things in an unhealthy way? Do you know the difference? All of these questions and more can be clues to finding your calling in life.

Particularly for those who have lived lives full of pain and suffering, using those experiences to find your life purpose can be healing. If people thought that they were simply suffering in vain, then this could make a person feel that they have no worth, or that their lives don’t matter. If they can share their sufferings, and how they overcame those sufferings, then they now have a life purpose. Their purpose could be uplifting others who have suffered the same fate. You could become a light of hope and aspiration to those who might feel that nobody understands what they are going through.

Another way to find your calling in life is to meditate and contemplate on the things that make you happy, and that make you feel joy. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to use your energy, especially professionally doing the things that bring happiness and joy to others? Of course, it would! So take the time to calculate out how you can use your positive energy and light as the purpose for your life.

Finding your life purpose can take years, and sometimes it takes all of your life to look back, and realize what your purpose in life was. However, once you find it, you will find such a sense of fulfillment and peace that others who don’t realize their life purpose will never have.

How To Overcome Feeling Depressed

In the normal course of our life, we come across a lot of things, most of which affect our emotions either positively or negatively. Among such things are our lifestyles, the people we associate with, our personal achievements and objectives, the weather conditions, our state of mind among others. Luckily, most of this factors are within our control which means that you can always manipulate them to work to your advantage. The last thing you want is to let this emotion get the better part of you. Depression is one of those emotions that need to be handled with a lot of care as it does not only affect the state of your health but in the extreme case can lead to death. This article will take you through some important tips on how you can overcome depression.

Work on your lifestyle: Available research indicates that one of the major causes of depression today is our way of life; that is our eating regime, exercises, the way we associate with people, the way we live at our homes among others.Health experts recommend that you eat a healthy diet and pair it with some regular workouts if you want to help manage your mood swings. Some diets are known to cause a lot of anxiety to different types of people which mean that the earlier you know about such foods, the higher your chances of managing such situations. On the other hand, workouts are known to keep your mind and your body engaged which reduces the chances of you thinking about your personal issues that may be causing the depression.

Get some rest: Usually, after a busy day or activity, there is a high chance that  your mind or the body will be exhausted which may result in depression if you fail to get some rest. Most people especially the parents have a lot in the plate be it taking care of their family, doing the normal chores among other activities that the would wish to do before they can get some rest. In the long run, such activities cause dizziness and fatigue as you are forcing your mind to handle more than it is supposed to. Most physicians recommend that you at least sleep for six hours a day to give your mind enough time to get enough rest.

Finally, there is time for everything, do not let your work issues to affect your family life. Most people makes the mistake of dragging their personal issues to their work which ends causing more problems and making the situations even worse. It is therefore highly recommended that you draw a line to everything, leave your work issues at your office and have fun with your family. Try as much as possible to remain relaxed without worrying about tomorrow or how your days has been.

Why You Should Look At Mistakes as Lessons Instead of Regrets

“I wish I had put more effort in my classes, by now I would have risen many ranks higher. If only I could turn back time and avoided the mistakes that made my business go under. It’s because of not taking her seriously that she left and now is in the arms of another man.” These are but some examples of regrets that some of us are having now. Yes you aren’t at the position you would have wished to be at. Yes you are nearing 40 years and you still haven’t found your footing. But this doesn’t mean you have to keep beating up yourself for past failures and mistakes. And as Richard Branson once said “You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing and by falling over”.

Robert Kiyosaki’s famous quote “Don’t waste a good mistake, learn from it” is aimed at encouraging people to not live on regrets but rather learn from their mistakes. These sentiments are supported by Albert Einstein who said that if you have never made a mistake then you have never tried something new. I mean, if you didn’t fail, how would you know you were ill-prepared? Or if you did get that job, how would you know that your skills are a bit behind?

The way you view a mistake will determine how fast you dust yourself and move on. The mistake is a doorway to learning about yourself better. Theory and practical are totally different, and by making mistakes you are able to know how knowledgeable you are and how far you can go. This helps you prepare yourself better just as Napoleon Hill said “every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit’.

Accepting you made a mistake and moving on is better than analyzing and re-analyzing your situation. Living on regret is same as insanity which Albert Einstein defined as doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting different outcomes. Truth is that if you are wise you can never repeat the same mistake again. Would you continue driving while drunk after getting involved in a fatal accident? Would you run your business hands-off after winding up because you over depended on an incompetent person? Of course not!

“If you live for long, you’ll make mistakes. However if you understand and learn from the mistakes, you’ll be a better individual. It’s how you handle hardships, not how it has affected you. The key thing is never give up, and never quit.” – Bill Clinton. From this quote by the former US president, we see that no one is immune to mistakes. The difference between the wise and the ordinary person is that the former accepts and learns from it while the latter will be absorbed in it and live in regret. This is well brought out through this popular quote by Winston Churchill, one of the founding fathers of the US “All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes”. Mistakes should be viewed like stepping stones and an eye opener and not a barrier to success or happiness.

Yes you are living a life of regret. You are knee-deep in debt, your partner has issued you divorce papers, you just flanked your finals, your business is getting liquidated, or you are losing your home. However, nothing stays forever. Even the strongest storm eventually passes just like daylight eventually shines in the darkest of nights. Wipe your tears, dust yourself up, getup and face life. “Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” – Oscar Wilde

And as I conclude, I would like to encourage you to press on and always fix your eyes on the goal. Remember, Bill Gates, the world’s richest man said “its fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure”.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Almost all of us have this one common destructive daily habit, that is, to compare ourselves to others. We compare houses, jobs, phones, cars, relationships, money, and social position and so on. What this habit does is creates negativity within us and this may also reflect in our behavior. So what should we do? How can we get rid of this habit of comparing? If this is what you are now thinking, then the three tips given below will surely prove to be of help.

1. Understand that you never will win if you do not stop comparing

Even if you keep repeating this in your mind, and realize this consciously, it will help. Despite whatever you do, how much efforts you put in, how hard you strive, there always has to be someone who is better than you or has more than you.

Of course, you may feel nice if you buy a new smartphone which is better than the one your colleague has. But pretty soon you will find someone who has a phone better than yours. So, understand that comparing is futile.

2. If at all, compare yourself only to yourself

Rather than comparing yourself with others, it will be better if you develop the habit of comparing yourself to your own self. Sit back and think how much you have progressed, how much you have grown, and how close you have reached towards your aims.

This habit will help develop kindness, appreciation, and gratitude towards yourself as you notice how much you have done, and all the hurdles you have crossed. So you will be feeling good about yourself without feeling less of others.

It will be a good idea to make this a habit, say by spending a few minutes every weekend to write down how much you have achieved, how closer you now are to your life goals, what you have learned, etc.

3. Learn to be kind

Perhaps you never might have even imagined so, but the way you behave with others also has an impact on how you think about yourself. If you have this habit of always criticizing and judging others, chances are bright you will also criticize and judge yourself often, even if unconsciously. So, try to help others and be kinder to them and you automatically will learn to be kinder to yourself.

Just try to focus on the positive things in life, the positives in others, and the positives within yourself. The more you start seeing just the good things in others and in yourself, you gradually will stop comparing, and lead a happier and more satisfied life.

How Kindness Can Get Your Further In Life

There are two things I know for sure about kindness.

1. Kindness is not weak.
2. Often, kindness not easy.

Kindness is often characterised as an individual who is missing his backbone. Someone who apologizes for something that’s neither his responsibility nor doing or who is standing in the background being trampled on and taken advantage of because he has no boundaries.

True kindness, however, is neither weak nor easy. It takes strength, patience, and wisdom to be kind. The “kind” acts that we do to be “nice” in order to avoid conflict, confrontation or seem mean aren’t kind at all. Unfortunately, by being “nice” we neglect the potential negative impact of our actions.

Everyone has heard of people doing random acts of kindness, and paying kind acts forward without expecting anything in return for themselves. The payout or payoff as many self help people would say is that they get a good feeling and make their own lives happier just by doing kind acts for others. If you are kind to yourself, kind to others, and kind and gentle to the earth, as Michael J. Chase has said in speaking engagements, your life will be better. Also your relationships are sweeter and your health is much improved.

Chase is a unique person. He did not experience much kindness in his early life; rather, he endured hard times that caused him to do much soul searching. Eventually, he had a startling and profound realization that completely turned his life around. Rather than keep this new knowledge for himself along, he decided to share it with others and teach them what he had learned. The main way he did this was to write a book about the philosophy of kindness, which explains how spreading good feelings helps everyone in the world.

He’ll be the first to tell you that kindness is about much more than just being ‘nice’. Paying for the coffee for the car behind you at the drive-thru is being kind; and taking brownies in for your coworkers is kind. As he asks in “Am I Being Kind” it’s far more than just being nice, and once you discover these things deep inside yourself, you’ll truly understand its full potential for enhancing your own life.

It’s so easy to be kind if you just think about it as you go about your day. It won’t take anything from your wallet, but it certainly pays in at least a moment or tow of happiness for everyone involved. When you do something kind, hopefully it encourages that person to do the same; and it continues from one person to the next and the next and the next. The result? A better outlook, a renewed sense of the good in others, a desire to be kind and experience the positive feelings for you and others. Don’t just read about it here though, try it for yourself and see how your attitude and mood changes; it’s hard to be negative or depressed after a simple act of kindness.

Even if you’re depressed and feel like you have nothing to give to others, you should realize that this is not true. The next time you have that negative attitude, turn it around by doing something kind for someone else. Share positive feelings, and in turn you will feel more positive about yourself and your life, and so will those around you. Everyone benefits when people are kind.